What’s to know? There’s not much to say. I was created in a secret laboratory in Los Angeles by a team of scientists trying to engineer the world’s greatest tic-tac-toe player. They succeeded, but feared I was too powerful, so I was kept prisoner until I escaped by training cockroaches to pick locks. Adjusting to life on the outside wasn’t easy, but since then I’ve won a battle of the bands, performed a lot of stand-up comedy and a few acting gigs, including one where I hung out on set with Ariana Grande. Life was good, but I knew something was missing something. Was it friendship, romance or a spiritual discipline? No! What I needed was a plan for world domination. And whether you want to begin your career or your plan to rule planet with an iron fist, you need to start with an education (remember that, kids!) so I moved to Missoula to go to the University of Montana where I was the on-camera correspondent for the school news, the Montana Kaimin. So what’s next? You’ll see. YOU’LL ALL SEE.
Christian Grant
1st-Date Disasters in Montana That Are SO Cringe
First dates can be a real challenge
An Open Letter to Tourists Who Might Bother Montana Wildlife
Maybe don't try to pet a bison?
Why Ed Sheeran’s Trial Victory is a Win for Montanans (Opinion)
Yes, a New York jury's decision matters here in the Treasure State
Montana’s Favorite Star Wars Movie is the Worst Ever Made
I have a bad feeling about this
Upcoming Missoula Skateboard Event Will Be a Fun Ride
With a taco bar, music and prizes
Study Shows How Montana’s Concert Crowds Compare to Other States
Crowd etiquette is so important
The World Needs Chat Bots of These Famous Montanans
Potentially-great simulated conversations
Could Montana Ban These X-Rated Websites?
I'm starting to wonder what Montana could ban next
Annoying Neighbor Behaviors You See in Montana
Hi diddly ho, neighborino! How's your diddly ding dong day goin'?
Ok, I'll cut that out. For the most parts Montanans are great neighbors, but nobody's perfect. Here's annoying neighbor behaviors you see in Montana:
Automatic Lights
Specifically when they shine into your house...
Montana Towns as Dungeons and Dragons Character Classes
Montana itself is a fantasyland, epic and almost supernaturally beautiful. Incidentally, Montana towns seem to resemble character classes from the game Dungeons and Dragons. I've written about Montana towns as Spongebob characters, Super Mario characters, Simpsons characters and I just can't stop...