Witty Missoula Salesman Charms with Hilarious Sales Pitches

Have you ever had a door-to-door salesman impress you with their sales pitch? I can't count how many times I have had a person demonstrate verbal jujitsu on my porch trying to sell me a product. It is impressive to say the least.

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Sales is a tough gig. (Ask our sales department here at TSM) You have to know your product and articulate words in a way that explains to potential customers the value of the product. In other words, you have to explain to a customer what makes it so special and why they should give you money.

A very articulate salesman popped up on my social media feed over the weekend. His sales pitch about a rusty old truck had me simultaneously wiping away tears from laughter and trying to find my checkbook.

According to Nathan Wratislaw (Stevensville) and his post on Facebook Marketplace, he has a 1970 Chevy truck to sell.

Hold onto your britches, folks, 'cause what we got here is a true-blue piece of American history—a 1970 Chevrolet C10, and lemme tell ya, this bad boy is SUPER RARE! We ain't talkin' just any old truck; we're talkin' factory A/C, which is rarer than a snake's hips. You'll be cooler than the other side of the pillow cruisin’ down Main Street in this classic, assuming you can get the ol' girl runnin' again. Now, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. This truck’s straighter than Uncle Earl after he swore off moonshine for the fourth time, but she’s got a little bit of that classic “character” to her. The tailgate’s seen some love taps, and there’s some honest-to-goodness body filler in the rear quarter panel. The ol' rust monster’s been gnawing at the rocker panels, too, but that’s just part of her charm—like the scars on a bar brawler who’s seen his share of Friday nights. I have a video of this truck i can send ya just message me anytime! She’s sportin’ a wood wheel that'll make you feel like a king of the backroads, and them chrome wheels are shinier than a hog at the county fair. Now, the tires? They’re about as trustworthy as a possum playin' dead. They'll do fine for pushin’ this beauty around the yard, but I wouldn’t take ‘em on a road trip unless you like the excitement of changin' a tire on the side of the highway. Now, here’s the kicker—the motor's done gone to that big junkyard in the sky. it will crank with plugs and wires she may run, so you ain’t gonna be drivin’ her off into the sunset anytime soon. But hey, that just means you get to drop in whatever engine your heart desires! Big block, small block, heck, even a hamster in a wheel, if that’s what tickles your fancy. So there you have it, folks—a genuine project truck with more potential than cousin Jimmy’s get-rich-quick schemes. She ain't perfect, but with a little elbow grease and a lotta love, you could have yourself one fine piece of American steel. Now who’s ready to take this ol’ gal home?

 

If that doesn't have you reaching for your checkbook and reconsidering your choice to buy that Tesla, I don't know what will. Nathan truly has a way with words. Someone PLEASE buy this truck. Click here to contact Nathan.